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For My Kids - The Lesson I Didn’t Learn

Carpinteria Beach, California

March 1, 2021

I was initially puzzled by the comments on what advice would you give your 21 year old self. But I get it now - we learn when we are ready to learn.

The First Tee approach to teaching life lessons is to plant seeds in kids’ heads with the idea that at some point they will have an experience that reminds them of what we talked about. It could be monkey mind, it could be making healthy choices or perhaps how to handle peer pressure.

As my kids are entering the parts of their lives where their are additional “demands” on their time, the seed I want to plant is this: make time everyday to relax and do something healthy for yourself. Eat right, meditate, yoga, walk, run, lift - know that you are in charge of your time and make time to take care of yourself. Life can happen to you if you let it - and once you do, it can be hard to regain control of it. Learn to say no to demands that are not consistent with your goals and values. You can do these things because they are not selfish — they in fact mean you have more energy and time for those things and people that you love.

That’s probably more than one seed. 🤪

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3 kommentarer

02. mar. 2021


Plus, let me add a pertinent correction to the "science" of psychology and the "humanity" of philosophy over the last century, via Dennis Prager. Both science and philosophy have been debating the false dichotomy of "nature vs, nurture" for a century or more -- whether we are "ruled" more by our genetic make-up or by our education & experiences. There is a third governor to our actions -- our Will. We are not foreordained to do or be a certain way by a synthesis or dialectic between out genes and our experiences -- we can, at any time, make wide changes simply by accepting that as our given course. I could bore you with numerous examples of people…


02. mar. 2021

Here is my seed, in a metaphorical and philosophical manner: "Life is what happens to us while we are busy making other plans." (Attribution: Allen Saunders, Quin Ryan, Henry Cooke, John Lennon.....) Do not be so rigid in your plans and dreams that you cannot enjoy the wonders and near-daily miracles that cross your path....

02. mar. 2021

The problem I have with that saying is that it makes our role in our lives sound so passive. We have more control over how our lives turn out than “Between stimulus and response ....” and “when you are up to your arse in alligators....”. What do those statements mean? We get to choose our responses to life’s events and we forget our priorities. Agreed that our lives are a series of unknowns. I’m not encouraging rigidity. Actually, just the opposite. Flexibility with a healthy dose of don’t forget your values. (I don’t mean values like greed, power, etc.) Kids, all I really meant by my post was no matter what’s going on in life, try to eat healthy food…

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