The Hidden Battle

Love’s Truck Stop

Oakwood, Illinois

June 6, 2022

A must watch documentary about the hidden battle with … is it ok to say? … depression. The focus is on some well-known student athletes from UVa that have dealt with mental health matters.

Very well done. I’m a bit disappointed that the film was not more inclusive to say this is a battle that is shared by non-athletes (in other words, students!) at UVa. There was passing reference to the percentages of those who deal with mental health matters is the same as student-athletes. Whether you are a student-athlete, a student or an alumnus, the feelings are the same — not being good enough, shame, embarrassment, why can’t I fix this by myself, unwillingness to be vulnerable, thinking your experience is a sign of weakness — the list goes on.

This topic is ground zero for me because I’ve been there, done that. I have been through all the stages — men don’t get depressed, what’s wrong with me, suffering in silence (That one may be the worst.). It’s probably why I am alone. (Ouch.)

Am I weak for admitting I get visits from the Black Dog? Think about our parents’ generations — they certainly had more hardships than we do and you did not hear them talk about depression.

I don‘t know the answer to that question — I suspect that generation had as much if not more depression; they certainly drank a lot (gross exaggeration).

I don’t think I’m weak. In fact, it has taken a lot of courage to admit I sometimes slip into a rut. But it has allowed me to realize I am a happy person who expects a lot of myself — and who wants to accomplish a lot — including helping those who might be suffering. I have learned a number of skills in the process of getting better — which I am. Much. Thanks to my friend Mark who has been an incredible help to me.

If you know someone who you think might be suffering, don’t do the Monty Python and run away. Step up and be curious. Let the person know you are always there for them. And be a listener — not a fixer. Suffering in silence sucks.