Mecca, California
February 9, 2021; finished on 02/25/21
This post is out of order. Because I have sat on it. Because it is introspective. But hell, many of my posts are introspective! So I’ll share this post because I am proud of my growth mindset!
As I drove through Phoenix the other day, I reflected on time I had spent there as a consultant working for Arizona Public Service, the operator of the Palo Verde Nuclear Generating Station. It must have been the late 80s/early 90s and APS was in hot water (pun) with the NRC. Turns out the capacity of the battery packs APS relied on for part of its backup power degraded significantly in the Arizona summer. Seems like common sense today, but it wasn’t at the time. APS’ attorneys at Snell & Wilmer, if I remember correctly, retained my firm to develop a plan to mitigate the NRC’s wrath.
It struck me that downtown Phoenix had not changed that much in the past 30 years. A continuous selection of neighborhoods leading to a small downtown area of office buildings.
My thoughts evolved into a panorama of my career and how it had played out. One thought in particular stuck out - that my career had happened to me.
I found that an odd way to think about my career. It sounded rather passive, that instead of thinking I was in charge of my career, that somehow I had ceded control to something or someone.
I won’t bore you with a replay of my career (at least not here!). But as I’ve ponder that thought over the past couple of days, I’m thinking there is more truth in it than I wish there were. I’m not loosing sleep over what was or what could have been, at least regarding my career. But a verb came to my mind as I was thinking through this issue. That word is to choose. Not choice, the noun. Choose, the verb.
I realize that to many this may evoke a “duh.” And that’s cool. I think what I’m trying to say is that sometimes — perhaps too often (which would be more than once) — I followed a course of action based on criteria other than my values, the course of action I should take. I really have grown to not like that word “should.”
By using the word “followed” I am drawing a distinction with the verb “to choose.” I’m realizing there were many situations where I had the power to choose but didn‘t con understand that. I let the situation choose for me.
I kind of know where that approach came from. But I stopped blaming my upbringing a long time ago!
Today I am choosing to drive the PCH to Santa Barbara with at least one stop - in Ventura. I may choose to stop many more times. I am choosing to gratefulize for my family and friends — I am very lucky to have the family and friends I have. And I think I will choose to listen to the Tower of Power today mixed in with some Motown. And I can’t forget I will choose to do yoga, meditate, eat healthy and walk. But I won’t choose to drink a Dr. Pepper. When I do that, I’ll be overcome by primitive forces. 😳😀👍😎
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