April 26, 2026

Who are you when no one's watching?

I came across this question when reading an article about relationships. (Again, like my last post, not that any of the article was relevant to me -- smiley face).

Living alone, I am well aware that I have developed habits and default behaviors (are those two concepts different?) that are suited for my circumstances. For example, I don't need to share my time, and I can do chores when I want to. I wonder sometimes whether that makes me unaware. I also ponder whether being alone for so long makes me permanently alone -- a corollary to "we become what we do most often."

Relatedly, I have always struggled with the dichotomy between the "public" me and the "private" me. In public, I can be engaging (I think) and fun (I also think) but alone I can get caught up in my own thoughts and pensive. (I just thought of how odd that "pensive" and "expensive" share a root word but have such different meanings!). Does that happen tto everyone? I'm sure I am not unique in that area but I think that most of my friends are the same when someone is watching or no one is watching.