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  • Lucian@going2paris.net

Grieving


Ocean Cove Campground

May 29, 2021


I suck at grieving. I probably shouldn’t — I have had plenty of opportunities to practice. But grieving is not stoic and for too long I was a stoic.


A friend of mine recommended this book to me. More than several times. Eventually I downloaded it. Then he reminded me more times.


On a remote stretch of the PCH where there is no cell service, I’ve watched every movie on my phone, I’m listened out to my playlists and I’ve done all the yoga/Pilates stuff I can do. So I opened the book and started to read.


And I kept reading — and highlighting.


It’s good stuff. I’m not going to summarize the book here because it’s a quick read, and I think each person will have different takeaways and “ah ha” moments. But I will offer several of my takeaways:


  1. It’s okay to grieve. In fact, if you don’t grieve, you are likely bottling emotions, feelings and thoughts — and bottling is not physically or emotional healthy.

  2. It’s a wives’ tale that there are specific stages of grief and mourning and any set time that grieving should take.

  3. There is no “getting over it;” however, there is acceptance and being at peace with the loss.


In sports we practice, practice, practice so that our shot, our swing, our throw is repeatable under stressful and tiring conditions. Hopefully we don’t get that much practice with grieving. That’s where this book comes in — a simple reminder about the process.


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