Jason Gay On Behavior

Golf’s Rude Awakening: How to Behave at a Ryder Cup

In the aftermath of an ugly crowd meltdown, a columnist makes a naive plea for basic human decency

Oct. 3, 2025 at 7:00 am ET

Hi friends! I was traveling for another story, but enough readers have emailed me that I figure it’s time to bravely hop off the sidelines and weigh in with an extremely controversial opinion.

(I’ll even put it in bold so you know how serious I am:)

I think adults should behave themselves at sporting events.

How’s that for a hot take? How’s that for a columnist’s sizzling courage?

Are we really this pathetic in 2025? Is the bar really this low?

I refer, of course, to the boorish crowd at the Ryder Cup—and the extended aftermath of the antisocial behavior witnessed at Bethpage Black last weekend.

How can this fiasco remain a topic of a debate, days later?

What is there even to debate?

Comporting oneself at a golf tournament should be a matter of basic human decency, like holding a door, not spoiling a movie ending, and not asking a Mets fan how the baseball playoffs are going.

You know…the bare minimum of being a human being in a society.

Consider poor Tom Watson. The 76-year-old golf legend spent an entire career showing that professional courtesy is compatible with competitive greatness. Now he’s posting a social media message to the European team apologizing for the “rude and mean-spirited behavior” at the Cup.

“As a former player, Captain, and as an American, I am ashamed,” Watson wrote.

Oof. You aren’t supposed to watch a Ryder Cup and feel ashamed. You are supposed to fall asleep on the couch, then wake up and wonder if it’s Sunday or Thursday.

There was an increased police presence due to the rowdy fans at Bethpage Black.

If you’re lucky enough to attend a Ryder Cup, you are supposed to wear your best khaki shorts, get a sunburn and keep your trap shut during the pressure shots.

Sure: Cheer constructively for your home region. Holler praise for your fave player. Feel a twinge of embarrassment looking at some of the outfits the teams are being forced to wear.

Too many people conclude that being a paying customer liberates them to be crude and lob the F-bomb like popcorn kernels. Listening to the European golfers plead with fans to not chuck beers at a colleague’s spouse was mortifying.

So much for the illusion of golf as the “gentleman’s game.” And I like the people yelping “This is golf, not the UFC!” as if a mixed martial arts crowd would somehow be worse.

Try chucking a beer at a UFC fighter’s family sometime. You may not leave with a full set of teeth.

And please don’t try to downplay this because of past rowdy Ryders. Let’s not whine “They did _______ to us in Europe” or “It’s the Ryder Cup, it’s different.” Let’s not indulge the fantasy that the crowd may have been frustrated with the U.S.’s team’s poor performance.

Come on. Quit excusing this nonsense.

Are we really this bad?

Don’t answer that.

Can I admit something? When smartphones became ubiquitous, I assumed it would tamp down on public misbehavior, because cameras would be everywhere, and nobody would want to get caught and shamed.

Wow, was I naive. If anything, it’s gotten worse, with video clips being celebrated virally, as if we’re judging a never-ending contest to be the worst example of the species.

I also think it’s fair play to talk about alcohol and sporting events. Look: I’m not a prohibitionist over here. Drinking a cold beer at a sporting event is one of the most pleasurable experiences a human can experience, outside of watching the Dallas Cowboys blow a fourth-quarter lead.

But too many people seem to think drinking “a cold beer” should quickly turn into 14 of them. I’m tired of going to games with my kids and having it turn into a boozy crapshoot, the difference between us having a nice day and a nightmare being the consumption of strangers.

If you can’t keep it together, stay home.

Same goes for these ridiculous battles for foul balls and home runs. Someone has to say it: If you’re over the age of 12 and you are leg-tackling another human being for possession of a sports orb, you have deeply misshapen priorities and should probably stay at home playing Connect Four alone.

Souvenirs are for kids. It’s gotten so bad that when we see an adult do the right thing and fork a foul ball over to a child, we’re practically nominating them for a Nobel.

Meanwhile, there ought to be a special room in hell—or at least Jets season tickets—for anyone who thinks it’s OK to harass an athlete who has somehow “cost” them a gambling or fantasy sports victory.

Not a week goes by without a report of an athlete being subjected to vicious digital attacks because someone’s lost money online. Leagues, meanwhile, whistle right past it as they collect sponsorships from gambling networks and yadda-yadda about “responsible gaming.”

Friends, I don’t think we’re asking for much here. I’m not asking anyone to play eight-under par. I don’t want to teach a course called “Remedial Human Being.”

Aren’t we still capable of being respectful sports fans in the world?

Don’t answer that.

I fear we know.