Check Your Assumptions & Speak Up

Charlottesville

September 28, 2026

The above advice came from this week’s email from Mark Manson. He has a knack for insights that make me think.

This week’s advice reminded me of an important clause I learned several years ago but too often don’t make part of my every day life — check my assumptions. How often do I assume something about another person because of how they dress, look and especially their facial expressions. In my mind those assumptions don’t register as assumptions — they register as knowledge. Perhaps it is the grace of getting older, but I find myself more willing to admit these days that perhaps what I know isn’t necessarily true. Which is why it is so important for me to check my assumptions. If you have read “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” you might remember the story of Stephen Covey on a subway with some misbehaving kids. He assumed they were just out of control; when he checked his assumption he saw the kids in a whole different light.

Often we need to speak up to check out our assumptions. Ma son’s insight above is a different angle on assumptions and speaking up. There is grace and kindness in speaking up and telling people something positive you think but don’t say. I love you, great job, you look great, I like your smile, that was nice of you to do that. Don’t assume people know what you are thinking/feeling. Share your thoughts and feelings.

Note: I think Manson is addressing both positive and negative feelings and thoughts. Saying something negative just out of the blue might not be what I would do!